Before I even start this article, I need to say this: social media is fun. It’s fun to just keep scrolling through your ‘For You’ page. It’s fun to keep swiping through stories. Your friend got a new dog? Fun. Your other friend is going parasailing? Fun. The random guy you followed a week ago is buying a new car? Fun. But see, that’s the thing. Is it really fun? Do you actually feel happy when you like a post on Instagram or open a snap from your so-called friend?
You often hear parents, teachers, and the guy on the news, stating with utmost confidence that social media is destroying our generation. “It’s a waste of time,” they say. Or “It’s spoiling your mindset.” Or “It’s too addictive.” Though all of the above is true—because let’s face it, scrolling through random videos on TikTok isn’t the best use of time—it’s not the problem.
The Problem with Social Media
The problem with social media is that it hones in on the things you lack. Think about it. When you see that your friend went parasailing or bungee jumping off the edge of the world, your first thought is, “Why am I not doing that?” Even though you might feel happy for them, you pity yourself. You pity yourself because while the people you know are off conquering the world, you’re just sitting on your couch watching them do it.
Social media paints the world to be a place full of colors and rainbows, while your life is dull and cloudy. Your friends, and that random guy from before, are living the best lives possible. They’re living the life you want. They have everything you want. And this mentality is the killer of happiness, and the precise problem of social media.
Now, this isn’t anything new. Everything I just said is something you already know. Whether it be deep down or screaming in your face every time you open Instagram. You know this. But, looking at new memes is fun, and it’s the perfect way to make you forget about your problems and responsibilities. It’s the perfect break from reality. But social media is destroying your time, mind, and worst of all, it’s destroying you. You are forced to ‘fake it till you make it’. That certainly isn’t fun.
The Other Problem
Chris Bailey, a renowned author of productivity books, spoke about the overstimulation of the mind in his TED Talk. He stated that our minds have become so overstimulated that we constantly need a dopamine rush to keep us happy. Social media acts as that quick dopamine rush. It helps in keeping the mind stimulated. And because you can quickly get this dopamine rush by just scrolling through TikTok, why bother doing something meaningful? Social media has become the easy answer to keeping our minds occupied.
Therefore, when other activities don’t bring us immediate happiness, this immediate dopamine rush, we stop doing them. We get demotivated. We feel it’s pointless. That’s why when people say, “Social media is addictive,” they are actually making a scientific statement without even knowing it. Social media makes all the other activities seem boring and mundane.
Is Social Media Really that Fun?
A few weeks ago, I did something monumental. All throughout my teenage years, I never even considered it. But finally, after my final exams ended, I did it. I joined (drum roll, please…) Snapchat. All my friends had it, and I finally decided to jump on the train.
I was always apprehensive because I never saw the point in sending meaningless ‘snaps’ to people. To be honest, I still don’t. There really isn’t a genuine conversation going on.
You ‘think’ you are enjoying social media. That’s the façade. In reality, you are constantly trying to be someone you are not. Others’ perfect lives force you to either ‘fake it’ or pity yourself.
The Solution
‘Delete all social media apps’ or ‘throw your phone at a wall’ is not the solution. I’m going to continue using social media, and you probably will as well. But what’s the solution then? How do we break out of this vicious loop? Here’s what I do.
The problem arises when:
- You spend too long on social media, and
- You compare your life with others’ perfect paradise.
The first problem is quite simple to solve. Firstly, I have a screen time limit on all social media apps. I have set a limit of 30 minutes per day for all social media apps. The apps stop opening after those 30 minutes. Additionally, I have turned off all notifications. I only see my messages when I open the app. This way, social media isn’t constantly on my mind. I personally hate that constant ‘ding’ sound. It’s just annoying.
The second problem, unfortunately, doesn’t have a clear-cut solution. It’s difficult. We all have this inherent instinct of wanting to be the best. We all want to be happy and live the best lives possible. So, inevitably, when someone else seems to have things ‘figured out’, it can be a little demotivating. And you end up comparing yourself to them.
The solution to the problem of comparison comes with time. It’s a skill that is slowly developed. I haven’t mastered it, and most people haven’t either. Knowing that almost everyone has this problem is quite comforting though. If you can learn to be happy for yourself, you’ll be able to be happy for others. Definitely easier said than done.
Learn the subtle art of not giving a f*ck, and this problem won’t seem as important anymore.
Final thoughts
Social media isn’t bad. It has many benefits that I’m sure you know of. But the way it’s used is the problem. I don’t want to be cynical, but it’s destroying YOU. You are forced to change the person you are, in order to ‘fit in’.
The constant comparison, the quest for validation, and the relentless dopamine rush overshadows our sense of self-worth and happiness.
While it’s clear that social media is not inherently bad, its misuse can lead to significant personal costs. Recognizing these effects is the first step towards reclaiming control. By setting boundaries, managing screen time, and focusing on real-life connections, it is possible to use social media appropriately.
Ultimately, the goal is not to reject social media entirely but to use it in a way that enhances rather than diminishes our lives.
