How to Cope With Peer Pressure?
Peer pressure is something most teenagers feel at some point, so trust me when I say it’s normal. I’ve felt peer pressure too. It isn’t pleasant, but it’s part of the job description of being a teenager. Not to be too general, but I’m certain almost everyone has felt peer pressure growing up. It’s normal. The aim of this article is to show you just that, and hopefully give you some helpful tips in dealing with it. These worked for me, hopefully they work for you!
Before I dive into this guide, peer pressure can sometimes be an invisible feeling to you too, so let’s first identify what is peer pressure. In simple terms, peer pressure is the influence of friends and other people on the choices we make. Whether this be on important decisions, or trivial things. It is when we are forced to make choices which seemingly help us ‘fit in’. In this article I want to try and show you that ‘fitting in’ isn’t necessary. Being you is. If someone doesn’t like ‘you’, that’s on them.
My experience of peer pressure is that I have felt the need to change who am I, in order to please others. Whether this be the things I enjoy, or the things I claim to be good at. This can be exhausting, and you can end up losing the real you in the process. I have now come to understand that I am who I am. If you don’t like this version of me, you don’t deserve to know this version of me. This mentality makes everything much easier.
So, before we get into the article I want to make this clear: You are not the problem. It is the people in your life.
The following are the top ways to cope peer pressure. Remember, I don’t claim to know it all. These may or may not help you, but they helped me.
Ways to cope with peer pressure:
- Talk to someone
- Stay away from ‘so called friends’
- Don’t get easily influenced
- Find a new friends group
- Don’t change you
1. Talk to someone
Whether this be parents, guardians, or someone you trust, talk to someone. Talking to someone about your issue makes things much easier. They may not have the solution to your problem, but a listening ear makes the problem seem less problem-y. It will give you the confidence that things are fine.
Whenever I have a problem, in anything, I first talk to my parents. Even though it may feel uncomfortable at first, it always helps me in the long run.
We have this tendency to make the problem much bigger in our heads. The never ending ‘what ifs’ are the worst feeling. Talking to someone brings you back to reality, and makes you realise things aren’t so bad.
2. Stay away from ‘so called friends’
You will always come across two types of friends, those who genuinely care for you, and those who couldn’t care less about your existence. It’s important to identify your true friends as early as possible. Removing ‘fake friends’ from your life will really make you feel better. There’s no point living under the facade that you have tons of friends. in fact, I am bold enough to claim most of your relationships are superficial. Because it is impossible to have hundreds of friends. All those followers on Instagram don’t care about you, just the same way you don’t care about them.
On average, people have between 1 – 4 close friends. These are the people you genuinely care about, and they return this favour. All other relationships you put on a pedestal are superficial. Stop caring what these people think. That’s the secret right there.
“You will become way less concerned with what other people think of you when you realize how seldom they do.” – David Foster Wallace
3. Don’t get easily influenced by your peers
To stay away from peer pressure, you must stop getting influenced by your peers. It is important to have your own sense of right and wrong. Make your own judgement (where viable), and if you feel something isn’t right, just don’t bother giving that person any attention. You are the best judge of your own situation. Remember you are in the driving seat, you have full control.
You cannot control the people around you. What they say and do is out of your hands. But you are in FULL control of how you react to these events. This counter-intuitive thought process is brilliantly covered in the book ‘The subtle of not giving a F*ck’, which I certainly recommend reading.
4. Find a new group of friends
This can be tough for you at start, as it is not easy to start fresh with a new set of friends, but this is definitely the better option. Try finding friends that have similar interests to you. Doing so might put you into a difficult situation with your current friends, but gradually things will get much better.
How to join a new friend group:
- Find people with similar interests as you
- Join in on their conversations
- Be open with them
- Be yourself
If you are still stuck, check out the article on how to make new friends.
Remember: Your fear is just in your head. Be confident and slowly you will start feeling comfortable. Taking the first step is always the hardest part of the journey!
5. Don’t change you
The most important advice I can give you is this: Never change who you are just in attempt to ‘fit in’ or please others. I will be completely honest here, most people don’t care about you. It’s a hard truth, but it’s a truth nonetheless. But see, this fact is quite liberating. If people don’t care, why even bother pleasing them. Don’t be someone you’re not. It’ genuinely not worth it.
Summary:
Dealing with peer pressure always seems impossible, but it isn’t. These are some of the most effective ways to deal with negative peer pressure. Finding the right friends early on is really important, and once you do, everything will seem much easier. For further reading on this topic, I highly recommending checking this article by Childline.
Realising peer pressure from the start is vital, this way you can deal with it quicker. Trust your mind, and you will not go wrong.
