The story of Kisa Gotami is one of the most popular stories of Buddhism. It’s a story of hope, despair and the unpleasant truth none of us want to hear.

Back when the Buddha was alive, he was, obviously, one of the most influential figures in modern-day Nepal and India.

He was the one person everyone trusted and relied on. People believed he had the powers to make everything right. And, to a certain extent, stories tell us that he did have the powers people claimed he did.

Most famously, the Buddha performed many miracles, including his feat of walking on water and taming a wild elephant through love. Rumour even has it that when the Buddha was born, immediately after birth, he walked seven steps with lotus flowers blooming under his feet.

Obviously, the science doesn’t really check out here. But that’s beside the point. The point is that back in his day, the Buddha was the hope of every person. He could perform all these miracles, and he had the powe to make people’s lives better.

When Kisa Gotami came running to the Buddha, she, too, had the hopes that he can cure all her worries.

Kisa Gotami was a young women from a wealthy family. She lived a luxurious life, and even got married to a wealthy merhcant. She had a happy family. She and her husband had a son too, who was 1-year old at the time tragedy struck.

Her son fell extremely ill, and died suddenly. Despite her money, lack in medical advancements meant that nothing could be done to save her only child. She was heart-broken.

She couldn’t accept the death of her son though. It couldn’t be true. She went around town holding her dead baby in hand in hopes of finding someone who could help.

She finally came across a Buddhist who advised her to meet th Buddha and seek his help. And that’s what she did.

She went to the almighty Buddha with her dead child in her hands, and unwavering hope in her heart. Only he could save her baby now.

And, he did exactly what stories confirm he could do. He told her the exact way that her baby can be saved. The Buddha asked Kisa Gotami to bring him 4 or 5 mustard seeds from any family in town.

Kisa Gotami was delighted to hear this. Surely any family would be willing to give her a couple of mustard seeds. But before she ran off on he mustard seed hunt, the Buddha added one more condition. The condition was that the mustard seed must be brought from a family where there has never been a death.

A family where all members are still alive. A family that has never been struck by tragedy.

Kisa Gotami was still filled with hope though. She went to each house in the village. Every house was willing to give her mustard seeds. But in every house, someone had died.

She searched and searched, but despite her best effort, she couldn’t find even a single house that wasn’t stuck by death or tragedy. Every villager had experienced exactly what she was experiencing right now. The intensity of the pain may have been different, but the pain was the same.

We’ll never know if the Buddha actually had the power to save Kisa Gotami’s baby. But what he taught her was that her pain wasn’t unique.

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Many self-help books, many philosophers, and the Buddha himself preach that pain and suffering are natural components of life. Death and tragedy are natural components of life.

And, most certainly, that is true. I mean eventually all of us are going to die. At some point in your life, you will suffer and you will feel pain. We will encounter tragedy at some stage in life.

By asking Kisa Gotami to find a house devoid of suffering, the Buddha wanted her to realise that such a house doesn’t exist. He wanted her to realise that her pain isn’t unique.

While it makes sense that our pain isn’t unique, it doesn’t feel like that in the moment. In the moment when we are encountered by suffering, we feel secluded. We feel like the whole world is against us.

And just acknowledging the fact that our pain isn’t unique doesn’t actually help alleviate it.

After Kisa Gotami learnt that everyone has experieced a death of a loved one, while she definitely felt less alone, it didn’t make the pain she felt go away.

Coping with suffering isn’t as easy as just recognising that everyone around you has gone through this pain that you are experiencing right now.

But it’s certainly the first step.

Death is a scary concept. It scares us because it’s one of the things we have never understood. And it’s one of the things no one can ever understand either.

If you’re religious, you have faith in an after-life, but there’s no guarantee. If your an athesist, you’re not even close to a guarantee.

In our short time that we have on Earth, we encounter many different adversities. No one likes having to struggle or having to feel pain. But adverisities are bound to come your way.

And when they do inevtably come knocking on your door, how you deal with it is key. You always have two options. You can either let the problem weigh you down, or you can try and fight.

Of course, this is much easier said than done. But, it helps to remember that you are no alone. It helps to remind yourself that somewhere someone out there has gone through the exact thing your going through right now. They’ve felt the things you’re feeling right now. And someone somewhere out there has overcome this exact adversity you are dealing with it.

Knowing this doesn’t make your pain any less significant. It just gives you hope that if someone else could overcome it, so can you.

And I may be wrong about everything I write or say. You may not agree with any of this. The one thing I can say with certainty is that in the end, hope is all that you have.

What the Buddha essentially taught Kisa Gotami was to have hope. He taught her to realise that even though the loss of her son is a terrible ordeal, there’s still hope. No matter how faint that light may be, there is always light at the end of the tunnel.

You just need to believe in it. And you just need to see it in your heart.