One of the most brutally honest books I have ever read. The author, Mark Manson, does not sugar-coat anything in this book. He says it as he sees it. This is an uncomfortable, humbling, and eye-opening book from beginning to end.
‘The subtle art of not giving a F*ck’ is one of the very few self-help books I have actually found helpful. This book presents an honest view of the world, and forces readers to inspect their own lives with a fine-tooth comb. It shows the world as it is; a place where foolish people are too sure of themselves, and smart people are too foolish to be sure.
Problem with most self-help books
Without doubt, this book is like a breath of fresh air. I personally hate books that preach stuff like “waking up at 4:30 am is the secret to success” or “outwork 99% of people to be successful” or “Don’t let your opponent know your next move”. The worst are the ‘inspirational’ Instagram pages (we’ve all followed these once) that have less than a 1000 followers, yet claim with certainty that they know ‘the secret to being rich’. All you need to do is follow them, and the money will start flowing. If only life was that simple…
Let’s be honest, I cannot wake up at 4:30am. Nor can I work 100+ hours in a week. And I don’t even know what to do with “Don’t let your opponents know your next move”. Frankly, these ‘know it all’ guides are disconnected with life. They are perfect to disillusion you, but beyond that, they have absolutely no value.
Mark Manson’s book is different. He gives us a counter-intuitive way of living life, and certainly doesn’t preach any of the above. He hammers down the notion that humans are inherently flawed. We are excessively and irrationally emotional creatures that often fail to see logic. We are not as special as we make ourselves to be. Manson describes that the problem is that we care too much about the unimportant, and fail to act on the things which actually matter. In his words, our problem is that “we don’t even know what to give a f*ck about anymore”. To summarise, humans are doomed. Quite harsh, I know. But that’s what makes this book one of the best I’ve ever read.
“Don’t hope for a life without problem. There’s no such thing. Instead, hope for a life full of good problems” – Disappointment Panda (Chapter 2 – Happiness is a problem)
What is the point of this book anyways?
As I have said already, this book is a little too honest. And that is exactly what we need. From dystopian chapters like ‘Don’t Try’ and ‘Happiness is a problem’, to unorthodox sub chapters like ‘Kill yourself’ (not what you think), this book has it all. It tries to manifest the idea that we must become comfortable in our own skin, and stop fixating on the ‘external noise’.
Perhaps my favourite part of this self-help guide is the idea that we are in control of everything that happens to us. In chapter 5, ‘You are always choosing’, Manson explains how everything that happens to us is our responsibility. He states that “We don’t always control what happens to us. But we always control how we interpret what happens to us”. This seems quite counter-intuitive (as most of the book is), but it makes sense.
We are in control of the way in which we respond to the things that happen to us. Our actions and emotions are in our hands. I found this notion quite interesting, and true. If an old man screams at you in the grocery store for no good reason, you can either take offence or just walk away. As Manson would put it, you can choose to not give a f*ck. You are always in control of how you interpret the situation, and control your emotions. You are in the driver’s seat, therefore you are responsible for EVERYTHING.
Such unconventional ideologies are intriguing to read. As a result, it sticks with you. I will agree, reading this isn’t pleasant at times, but it’s what you need. It’s what I needed.
“This book will help you think a little bit more closely about what you’re choosing to find important in life, and what you’re choosing to find unimportant”
Final words
Without doubt, I certainly recommend this book. It is the best self-help book I have read to date. Manson’ witty and blunt writing style, complimented by unique ideologies backed by scientific research makes this a highly captivating read.
Other buys:
