I was recently visiting a shopping centre near my house. It’s the busiest one in the neighbourhood. I wasn’t feeling the best about myself that day. As I walked through the shopping centre, hundreds of people walked by me. I looked around, and no one paid any attention to me. No one cared that I was there. When I think about it, I didn’t care about anyone else there either. Those people were just THERE. Most people we meet are just THERE. And I am insignificant to these other people, just like they are to me.

The fact that the universe doesn’t revolve around us is something most people know. We consciously understand that we are just insignificant beings in the grand scheme of things. But it doesn’t always feel that way. It always feels that our problems are special. It always feels that we are more than just insignificant beings. It always feels that we are special. It always seems that everyone cares about us. Or at least they should care. Why? Because, in our minds, we are special. Unique.

The American anthropologist and author Ernest Becker wrote about this exact concept in his book, ‘The Denial of Death‘ (which I definitely recommend reading). In this book, he argued that humans have an inherent narcissism. We are creatures who are “hopelessly absorbed with ourselves.” We like to believe the world revolves around us. He describes this as our want and need for “cosmic specialness.” Being the hero, being special, is one of our foremost desires and, as he puts it, one of the driving forces behind our every action.

But here comes the problem. Whether I believe it or not. Whether you believe it or not. We really are insignificant. And we probably will be for the rest of our lives. That’s not a bad thing, but it’s not pleasant either. It’s nice to be under the impression that we are one in a million. That we are, in some way, better than others. That we have something others don’t. It sure is nice to live in the bubble of “cosmic specialness.”

Yet, knowing the fact that most people don’t care is quite humbling too. Knowing that you aren’t the center of the universe is freeing. All your problems seem less important. Most likely, whatever you’re going through right now, someone somewhere has been through it before. Not being unique isn’t as bad as we make it out to be. It just means we’re human. This concept makes everything much easier.

This hero mentality is quite fundamental. It makes us want to achieve greater things. It makes us want to be the best version of ourselves. But it can also turn into an overwhelming egotistic mindset. The “I am better than you” mentality is never good. No one likes such people.

I continued walking through that shopping centre and decided to leave after a while. I went back home, a place where I don’t feel insignificant.